Aliens, or as I like to call them, “Extraterrestrial Homies”.


So, this has been a topic of fascination for me for many years as I have always loved looking at the sky, stargazing, pondering the facts of life and just being lazy in general.

Whether or not there could be life on other planets is something that has been greatly debated over the course of history and I’d just like to take this opportunity to tell you that if you think that we humans are alone in this sexy little Universe we call home, then you’re wrong… and you’re probably ugly.

Logically, if we take into account the astronomical size of the universe and realise that the Earth is comparatively about the size of a speck of dust, we would surely be ridiculous, ignorant and just full-of-ourselves dickheads to think there possibly couldn’t be life elsewhere.

I for one, love the idea that there could be aliens living amongst us or that there are little green men floating about somewhere out there who could literally obliterate us at any given second because let’s face it, human beings are awful, idiotic creatures and we deserve to be wiped out… violently. Also, how badass would it be if the Men In Black were real and were actually kicking alien booty somewhere out there? Too badass, is the answer.

As for all of you who don’t believe in extraterrestrial life and who are looking down your noses at me right now, you’re all going to be sooo jealous when I’m macking on some gorgeous alien babe who has like, four boobs and stuff. Like, OMG SO JEALOUS.

In closing, if there are any aliens reading this, I’d just like to say: PLEASE. ABDUCT. ME. I WILL LITERALLY LET YOU DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO ME! … but no butt-probing stuff because that’s just weird.


Holla at your boy... or not. Whatever.

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