Bonjour, Ciao and Aloha!

I don’t know how many of you have travelled extensively but if you have, I’m jealous and I hate you. The most exotic place I’ve ever been to is… Cape Town and seeing that I’m from South Africa, this is not greatly exciting (although I smaak Cape Town stukkend).

It’s got me thinking though, we’ve all got places we’d like to visit someday, right? I personally want to go to the United States so that I can live the American dream of eating deep fried butter (yes, this is an actual thing there) and of going down to the Jersey Shore for a little GTLH (Gym, Tanning, Laundry… Herpes). Seriously though, ask anybody and they’ll be sure to name a place in the world they’d love to see before they kick the bucket.

For my mom, it’d probably be Italy because according to her, she loves everything Italian and she was probably Italian in one of her past lives… or some such bullshit (I don’t know, I tend to tune her out mostly). Others might say “Oh, I’d love to visit France! Paris especially, it seems so romantic!” or perhaps “I’d like to go to Thailand, I heard it’s really beautiful!” (Translation: “I can’t find myself a wife so I have to go to Thailand to buy one”).

So here’s what I want to know: Why exactly do you want to visit the country you do? Is it because you spent hours Googling it? Have you heard awesome stories from family members or friends who’ve been there? Have you seen it on the TV box and thought “Hey, that doesn’t look too shit, maybe I should go there”? PERHAPS WE’LL NEVER KNOW! OOOOOOHHH… just kidding. I try to sound cool and deep sometimes… I seldom succeed.

At the end of the day, how much do you really know about other countries? For example, here’s what I know about France: Eiffel Tower, wine, cheese, frog legs, bread, rude people, hairy women. Crude, ignorant generalisation? Yes. Could I Google it to learn more? Perhaps. Will I? Probably not.

Despite this, I still want to travel the world so that I too can be one of those pretentious, bragadocious people who go on and on about where they’ve been to in the world because let’s be serious, why the hell else does anyone travel? Obviously it’s so that they can rub it in other people’s big stupid faces.

Anyway, truth be told, I completely forgot where this post was supposed to go so I’ll just end it here.

PS: If I offended anyone… too bad.

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