I’m sure those of you who actually bother to read this blog know that generally, I try to make my posts funny and entertaining. I will warn you now though, this will not be one of those posts. If you are, however, looking for a laugh, try 9GAG.
For those of you who stuck around, know that this post is kind of difficult for me because it hits close to home and I am going to share personal details about myself, so please bear with me.
I wasn’t planning on ever posting a blog of this nature, but I’ve noticed lately that more and more people have been pretty down in the dumps. If I was the old me, I would probably have thought “Why can’t they just grow up and get over whatever the hell is making them sad?”.
You see, ladies and gentlemen, the “old Nikolai” was a real asshole. I couldn’t care less about other people’s feelings or whatever they could have been dealing with in their lives because all that mattered was me. But the Universe has a funny way of teaching people lessons.
For anyone who knows me personally, they know that I’m a happy, funny and super talkative guy, who tries his utmost to be funny, even to the point of annoying those around him, but here’s where the personal stuff comes in: I’ve been dealing with depression for the better part of 5 months.
I am by no means looking for sympathy from any of you by divulging this information, I do so only so that you all know that I am speaking from a place of experience. Yes, I’ve been through it all: The overwhelming feeling that life has no purpose, constant suicidal thoughts and even self-harming. It’s been a dark road, but here I am.
Funnily enough, a quote from the film “Spud” stuck with me. The Guv speaks to Spud after his friend Gecko passes away and says: “You will deal with this in your own time and when you do, you will be the better man for it”.
And we will be better people, because having to deal with adversity makes one stronger. For those of you who still feel trapped by depression, know that it doesn’t last forever, even though it feels like it will. I know first-hand that it is a daily struggle to get out of bed and face the world, but it’s worth it.
Through all of this, I’ve come to realise a very important fact: Happiness is a choice. Whether you remain in the abyss or whether you scratch and claw your way out, depends solely on you. You don’t have to lose who you are because of depression, you can choose fight it and be greater for having dealt with it.
By no means am I trying to say that this can happen overnight, but what I am saying is that it can be accomplished. Dealing with depression can be a long journey but the destination will be beautiful.
I have to be a bit cliché here and say, it’s always darkest before the dawn. No great man has ever had a life that was smooth sailing but they were able to take their negative experiences and use them as metaphorical sandpaper to polish themselves and grow because of it.
As for me, I think I’ve done my fair share of growing over this period and I do feel as though I am a better person because of it. I know that if you’re dealing with depression, you’ll come out of this stronger than you were before. Metaphorical sandpaper, people, it’s a real thing!
We’ll get through it. Stay Strong. x