University student by day, awesome crime-fighting superhero/rockstar by night. I travel the world bringing smiles, happiness and rainbows to little underprivileged children while riding on my psychedelic unicorn, named “Gertrude”.
In my spare time, I enjoy competitive power-walking, competitive sleeping and abseiling (despite me having no discernible abdominal muscles). I am very passionate about doing nothing and the more of nothing I’m able to do, the better.
I despise most of the human race and thus, do my utmost to avoid any and all contact with any other person. I once had a 2 hour debate about politics with a watermelon and despite losing, it made me a better man. I have beaten many children in arm wrestling contests and I consider these to be my greatest personal victories to date because children suck.