The Wild, Wild… Internet.

I need to address something serious that has been on my mind lately: My being an intersectional activist (of sorts) and the reactions that have arisen because of it.

I try to combat various issues including homophobia, racism, islamophobia, transphobia & misogyny. Usually if I see something on Facebook/Twitter/wherever that I know is problematic, I will comment (as one with a social conscience will tend to do) and I have received some backlash that I never, ever expected.

Some of my favourite insults directed at me include that I’m a “sand nigger”, that they wanted to defile “my book” (the Quran), that I deserve to be murdered for being a Muslim, that I support terrorism and some implication that I fornicate with goats because I look Middle Eastern – you gotta laugh, right? For the record, I’m an Atheist – a militant one at that, and for those of you who’re unaware, I’m South African – but evidently because I’m of Indian descent and have a beard in my profile picture, that means I’m an Iraqi Muslim or something – the kind of brilliant reasoning one can expect from some internet users.

My issue here lies with the lawless nature of the internet – people can say what they want to who they want, whenever they want with absolutely no consequences. You can log onto social media, call someone a moffie/faggot/kaffir/nigger/tranny/etc. all from the comfort of your own home and then log off and go watch TV or something while completely ruining someone else’s day, isn’t technology wonderful?

I hate the fact that some anonymous asshole can spew vitriol from behind a keyboard and get away with it and think they’re some kind of hero – and the worst part is that there are so many people who will “like” comments which are bigoted and derogatory so the person saying it doesn’t realise just how wrong what they’re promoting is.

Then those of us who speak out against ignorance get targeted and called “social justice warriors” and “feminazis” in an attempt to belittle our efforts and cause. Just FYI: trying to diminish our fight against bigotry doesn’t make you a person of strong moral fiber, it makes you look like a narrow-minded, knuckle-dragger who is terrified of progression of ideology.

In case you’re confused, I’m not writing this for myself – as anyone who knows me personally will attest – I don’t give two shits about what anyone says or thinks about me – never have and certainly never will (unless you’re Beyoncé. PLEASE LOVE ME LIKE I LOVE YOU QUEEN B!!!!! *sobs*). But the reality is that there are people in the world for whom such derogatory words have a great impact and I’m tired of people flinging them about as easily as they do.

To those of you who behave repugnantly on the internet because you know that it’s more than likely that you’ll never have to deal with the consequences of your actions: next time, think before you type. Sitting behind your computer, gleefully typing up derogatory comments does not make you cool, it does not make you macho, it does not make you edgy and it damn sure doesn’t make you a hero to the people – what it makes you is a coward because I guarantee majority of you would not say the things you do hiding behind the mask of anonymity if the people you were saying it to were standing in front of you.

To the rest of my “social justice warriors”, “white knights” and “feminazis”, keep fighting the good fight because even if you manage to educate ONE moronic bigot in your entire life, that is a victory.

Why The #FeesMustFall Movement Is A Pivotal Moment For South Africans

#FeesMustFall. You probably have seen posts with this hashtag over the past week or two if you’re South African – and maybe even if you aren’t. For those of you who are unaware, there has been unrest recently due to proposed fee increases at Universities across the country – and students were having none of it.

Students from across the country marched and staged peaceful protests to show that they were not going to stand for the proposed 10.5% fee increase. There initially was some concession, with those in power announcing that they would aim for a 6% increase instead – again students refused. They wanted a 0% increase and they were willing to fight for it. There was a small victory won when last Friday (23/10/15), President Jacob Zuma announced that there would indeed be a 0% fee increase in 2016.

Now that you have the gist of the story, I would like to focus on the reactions I have seen on social media during and following it. Over the past few weeks, I have seen varying opinions from numerous people. Thankfully, the majority has been fairly positive and supportive, however, there have been more than a few comments which leave much to be desired.

One of the more bothersome reactions that I have seen is the idea that we, as students, want everything handed to us – that we have some sense of entitlement. This notion is laughable at best and highly dismissive at worst. The fact of the matter is that students studying towards Degrees have to work hard to achieve them, and it’s not that we’re asking for Degrees and Diplomas to be handed out like candy on Halloween – we just want to have the opportunity to be at university and earn our Degrees – where is the sense of entitlement here? I don’t see it.

Perhaps the worst thing that has come from social media reactions is the fact that some people want to make this into an issue of race when that is not even a facet of the movement at all.

If you were to look at the students involved in the marches, protests and those who were showing solidarity online, you would quickly realise that there wasn’t a single race that was not represented – Black, White, Coloured, Indian, Asian, you name it and you would find them – so why then is it that it had to become a racial issue?

It’s because when people have no other way to disparage something, they will sink to using the lowest forms of attack. “Oh these black people keep using apartheid as an excuse. If they just worked harder they’d have the same opportunities as everyone else” – that is a fallacy. If you are ignorant (or pretend to be) about the inequalities that still exist to this day because of apartheid, you desperately need to educate yourself.

The fact of the matter is that these protests were not about race, political affiliations, gender or anything of the sort – students transcended all this and came together as one to make their voices heard and to make education – a basic human right – available to all.

Another thing that I take issue with is the number of affluent people who are critical of the #FeesMustFall movement. I’m just going to say it like it is: Rich people, you cannot identify with our struggle because frankly, you know nothing about struggle. You will not have to worry about whether you will be able to pay registration fees at the beginning of the year, or whether you will be excluded or not be able to write your exams due to unpaid fees, or know that when you’re done studying that you’ll have a mountain of student loans to pay off. You are not sympathetic because you have not walked in our shoes – you will never know what it is like.

It’s VERY easy for you to say “Oh these students just want everything for free!!!” when you are driving your R600 000 BMW, tweeting from your R15 000 iPhone and going home to an R18 million house in Constantia, because you are so detached from what the majority of us have to deal with daily. So in your case, maybe it’s best to… oh, I dunno, shut the fuck up?

People complain about crime, corruption and unemployment in South Africa but then want to decry the notion of free higher education for all. Do you realise that if we educate the masses, that this can only be beneficial? Educated people can find and create jobs, educated people do not have to resort to crime to ensure they can put a plate of food on the table, and perhaps most importantly can make intelligent, critical political decisions.

For everyone who is opposed, nonchalant or indifferent to the #FeesMustFall movement, remember that these students are not only fighting for themselves or for the rest of us who cannot be at protests/marches – they are fighting for the betterment and enrichment of South Africa as a whole. They are tackling fees, systematic racism, outsourcing, corruption and a host of other issues all to make OUR future a better one, for us and for generations to come. Like I have said in the past – it’s a revolution, let’s hope that looking back you won’t have to lie about which side of history you were on.

To my brothers and sisters who are leading and participating in this movement – I cannot begin to describe the pride I feel. They thought they could silence us, they thought we would be deceived like those before but you have shown that we will not take injustice lightly and we will not stand for it. They called us the lost generation but you have shown them the power we possess.

Even though some of us cannot be at protests and marches, know that no matter what, you have our absolute unwavering support.

A Luta Continua but we will not stop until the war is won.

Amandla.

The Hypocrisy Of The “Pious” (And Others)

To begin with, allow me to say that I am supremely tired of discussing this issue because it is seriously like beating the proverbial dead horse. However, I will continue to talk about this ad nauseum until I either keel over and die or people grow up and learn to not behave like animals – actually scratch that because I have an interesting point to raise about the human/animal comparison later. Moving on.

My issue lies with my aim to combat the ideologies of homophobia, racism and islamophobia – my aim because I know how difficult it can be for one to feel as though they are being discriminated against due to the prejudices and ignorance of others. (If you missed it, you can read my piece on islamophobia here). However, the very people I am trying to protect want to rob me and my people of our rights, and in some cases, our lives.

An example: Muslim people, you know how it is when people discriminate against you due to who you are – your faith is an indelible part of you and there are people who unjustly hate you for no reason other than ignorance. So why then, do some of you turn around and discriminate against people in the LGBT community? Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware of the story of Lut and etc. – I actually do read and make an effort to educate myself about what I’m talking about, so don’t feel the need to inundate me with quotes or religious scripture supporting your hate (seriously don’t do that… no, like seriously stop it).

Religious people in general are an interesting bunch. You have the few open-minded ones who realise that we live in 2015 and that perhaps, their religious texts may be in need of a different interpretation to apply to modern times, then we have the others who say nope, things must remain as they were.

I read this on Facebook the other day, just to give you a clue how some people feel about my people: “All LGBT should be required to wear a mark, to let others know they are in the area. As they are carriers of diseases and demonic activity.” – do you remember who else was a fan of branding gay people (and murdering them)? Hitler. But who cares about that, gay lives don’t matter to some of you, right?

One of my favourite things some homophobic preachers/people say is that homosexuality is unnatural and that “not even animals would engage in such a filthy practice”. Then when you point out that 1500 species of animals engage in homosexual behaviour, they turn around and say “Oh well, we’re human beings, we shouldn’t be following the behaviour of animals” – sublime, it is just SO amusing to me.

Some black people are also hypocrites, in my opinion. Like with Muslims and islamophobia, black people are unjustly discriminated against due to the colour of their skin – a part of them which they do not nor have they ever had a choice in, yet you will find that some black people are homophobic – I’m too tired to point our parallels, kindly infer.

Sexual orientation is as much apart of a person as their skin colour, I can tell you that much because I have lived this truth. I have been bisexual since the day I was born and no one can dispute that because no one else is me. You will often see heterosexual people preaching their bullshit explaining how gay people came to be. Imagine a white person going to a black person and telling them what it is really like to be black (or vice versa) – makes no sense at all, does it? This is precisely what it’s like when straight people want to discuss the intricacies of LGBT life and explain it to us.

Please don’t misunderstand the purpose of this post, I am by no means telling you to not be a homophobe – I could literally not care any less about what you do or think about anything in this world because it’s not my business and it’s your constitutional right to be a moron – my problem arises when you use your voice to try and infringe upon my rights.

People will go on and on about their right to religious freedom and how they have a right to practise and worship as they choose and then decry gay marriage being legalised. In what world does this make sense? Is it only YOUR human rights that are worth discussion and consideration? You cannot demand equality, respect and tolerance for what suits you and then try to rob others of what is rightfully ours.

This is why I do not get those who say issues like racism/islamophobia and homophobia are not the same. How aren’t they the same? At the core, all of these things aim to oppress us and rob us of our essence as human beings – do not tell me they are not the same struggle.

Just a reminder: I do not live in a country where there is no separation of church & state nor do I live in a country under sharia law so I don’t need your religion to be thrust upon me if it’s being used as a vehicle or tool for your hatred. If you have decided to espouse hatred and ignorance then cool bananas, good for you, I unfortunately haven’t.

People just generally and genuinely need to mind their own business. Worship who you want to worship, love who you want to love, etc. but don’t make it anyone else’s problem and quit telling people what your god says – not all of us belong to a religion (or more specifically, your religion) so your laws do not apply to us. Thanks.

To you who have read this piece: I am not trying to make blanket statements, I am not referring to all religious people or all people of colour, I am referring to the few who fall into the categories of what I have spoken about.

If you are offended by this piece, however, then perhaps you are the one I am speaking about – consider that. If you are a homophobe/islamophobe/racist, I’m not asking you to change (though you really should), all I ask is that you try to educate yourself rather than living in a bubble, be tolerant of one another and try to form bonds over similarities rather than increase divisions based on differences because the world is already being torn apart by those who choose to focus on our differences – it is time to change that.

Love & Light. Blessed Be. – N

MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND THEY’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!!!!!

Muslims are evil, haven’t you heard?! They’re all apart of either the taliban or al qaeda or isis (no I will not capitalise those names because they don’t deserve it). All Muslims want to kill innocent people and if you’re not wary, you could very well be next!!!!!

This is the view that many people in the world have of Muslim people as a whole – a fallacy which needs to be addressed right now (my apologies to those of you who gleefully followed the link expecting this to be an anti-Muslim post, you have been misled, as I intended).

Currently, it seems as though the distrust and, in some cases, outright hatred of Muslim people is at an all-time high. Terrorist groups such as al qaeda, isis, the taliban, boko haram etc. paint a grim portrait of the Islamic community in the world’s view and it seems that some believe “Well hey, these guys are Muslim so like, obvs all Muslims are totes the same, right?”. To put it simply, no.

Allow me to tell you something that will blow your tiny mind: the media cannot always be trusted – I will wait while you pick your jaw up off the floor. Yes, it’s true, in amongst the commercials for beer and sex stuff (I don’t know, I usually just fast forward through ad breaks) there are shows and news broadcasts which aim to shape the views of their consumers in certain ways – and this, my easily misguided friend, is called “propaganda” (*cough* FOX news *cough*) – trust me on this, I’m currently working on my Masters in Media so I know a thing or two.

Here’s the thing, not everyone likes everyone else (shocking, I know), so there are those who choose to represent information in a particular way to suit their own agendas. Of course there are those who are objective and fair and choose to share information openly and allow people to draw their own conclusions based on said information, but those people don’t get nearly the amount of attention as the other bunch because the other bunch uses sensationalism to pander to people’s fears.

Generally they pander to the fear of “OMG THESE GUYS ARE GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOU DON’T HATE THEM AND STOP THEM!!!” – one needs only look at the way Muslims are discriminated against today due to the actions of the minority. A recent example is of a woman in the UK who was beaten by a group of other women while fetching her child from school – what was her crime? She was Muslim.

Can you pull yourself back for a moment and imagine that? Imagine if people thought that Hitler represented all white people and therefore, all white people MUST be like him? Or that Idi Amin represented all black people and therefore all black people MUST be like him? People are marginalised daily because of what terrorist organisations are doing and claiming that their actions are in the name of Islam – but it’s clearly not because most Muslims denounce these groups, yet people don’t realise that because they are too narrow-minded to think for themselves.

I am not saying that Muslims are perfect people (I will talk to y’all about y’alls homophobia later – see me in my office), but to reduce an entire group of people to the disgusting, vile stereotype that Muslim = terrorist is absolutely abhorrent and you should be ashamed if you think this way.

While we’re at it, I hate the term “Islamophobia” (and “homophobia” too) because “phobia” means that one is fearful of something. Islamophobes (and homophobes) are not afraid, they are just hateful people whose hatred is fueled by nothing more than pure and simple ignorance. Allow me to repeat that: I-G-N-O-R-A-N-C-E; and in this day and age, ignorance is simply inexcusable.

Some of you may be wondering “Wow, random African child, you sure do care a lot about Muslims, WHY?!” – I’ll tell you why. It’s because my mother is Muslim and so is her mother and, therefore, I have Muslim blood running through my veins, my neighbours are Muslim, many of my friends are Muslim, the boy I love is Muslim too, and so I refuse to stand idly by while these people are disparaged by people who choose to not see past their noses.

But y’know what? Even if none of the above was true, I would still try to combat the ridiculous ideologies of Islamophobia, and y’know why? Because I’m not an ignorant cunt who chooses to hate people because they worship a different god than I do, or because they love someone with the same genitalia as them or because their skin colour is a shade different to my own.

We’re all human beings and it’s time to stop focusing on all our differences because they are far outweighed by our similarities.

So, in conclusion, if you were one of the ignorant ones (who actually stuck around? Wow, I’m impressed! Three cheers for you), I hope that this piece has helped you to pull your head out your ass and see the light. If not, I pity you and your sad existence.

Assalamu Alaikum

*drops mic*

Things That Need To Stop In 2K15… But Then Something Amazing Happened!

Welp, as usual, I’m late because… well I’m just so lazy, guys ☹. Happy New Year, nonetheless, homey dawgs! *throws up gang signs*

Seeing that I am the foremost authority on how to live life while being beautiful, intelligent, witty, gorgeous, flawless, smart, charming, hilarious and most importantly humble, I have devised a list of things that need to go away in 2015:

1. Being Shitty On Social Media

I’ve noticed a trend on websites like Facebook and Twitter where people think they have free reign to say anything they wish because they’re behind their keyboards, and that there is no consequences for their actions.

I have to admit that I have fallen into this trap many times in the past. It’s very easy to say something awful to someone who is just a picture and a name on a screen – but we often forget these are real people with real emotions and putting them down to make yourself feel better is just a shitty thing to do.

2. Being Shitty In Real Life

And then we have those people who are just nasty in reality for the heck of it. We all know those people who get joy from bringing others down. Don’t be that person, nobody likes that person. If you ever encounter such a person, don’t attempt to fight fire with fire – you just get more fire – instead show them kindness. It will truly baffle them.

3. Comparing Yourself To Others

Put your hand up if you’re guilty of this one… Okay now tell me if you put your hand up; I can’t see you. I am terribly guilty of this. Often you see these picture perfect people on TV or in magazines, hell, sometimes even in reality and you think “She’s so pretty, why can’t I look like that?”, “Look at his six pack, I wish I had a six pack like that”, “I hate my body, why cant my body look like hers”, “My stretch marks are absolutely hideous, I wish I had smooth skin like him” (Yup, men get stretch marks too and some of us hate it just as much as some ladies do).

You see, the problem with comparing yourself to other people is – you will never ever be them, no matter how hard you try. You need to learn to accept yourself as you are and to change the things you can’t accept.

Remember: You can only be the best version of you. Wait I think I stole that from Oprah.

4. Putting Yourself Down

Nobody likes to fail, simple as that. No one wakes up in the morning and thinks “Damn, I can’t wait to go and screw something up today lol!”. We cannot control everything that happens in life and because of that, yes, sometimes we will fail.

It does not mean we are bad people, it does not mean that we are stupid or worthless, or any of that bad stuff. What is simply means is that we are human. We all make mistakes and we should grow and learn from them, rather than beating ourselves up over them.

5. Bucket Hats

No. Please. Please go.

6. Posting Clickbait

You all know those links that pop up on Facebook and Twitter with titles like “Woman Was Being Eaten By A Bear… But Then Something Amazing Happened!”. No. We don’t care, we hope you get eaten by a bear too.

7. Complaining

We all just complain too much. I think if we appreciated the small things in life, we’d be much happier people. Hey, there’s pizza in the world, there’s bacon (omfg bacon) (ignore this if you are Muslim or Jewish), there are cute little puppies and sweet little babies. And the best part about babies is that you can give them back to their parents when you’re tired of them. Pure bliss! No more complaining in 2K15 (unless I do it because I’m totally justified).

8. Socks And Sandals

*screams horrifically for 12 years*

9. Neglecting Loved Ones

The sad truth of the matter is that the people we love will not be around forever. Often we forget that our time is limited so we postpone plans and put off spending time with those we care for most. “I guess I’ll see you another time”, well what if that time never comes? Life is but a fleeting moment, snatched away before we even know it.

So go and spend time with your friends and family because one day when your time on this mortal coil is over, you’re not going to lie on your deathbed and think “I’m so glad I spent my life working”.

10. Making Us Look At/Talk To Your Babies

tbh babies are super cute, except for when they’re just born. It makes me really uncomfortable when I have to meet a baby for the first time because they’re really ugly and what do you say to a baby? They don’t even try to add anything to the conversation. Oh googoo gaga? Well thanks for that amazing input, asshole.

Please don’t make me talk to your baby or have to look at it until it becomes cute, thanks.

11. Believing Everything We Read On The Internet

Anyone can spout any garbage they want on the internet. Some people take this as the absolute truth and never stop for a moment to question the validity of some of these claims. I’m here to tell you to believe none of it, except for what I say:

• No, there is no illuminati.
• There is no “gay agenda” and we are not trying to turn anyone gay. We are not the army, we don’t recruit.
• Yes, in real life, I actually look the way I do in my profile pictures.
• Dogs love you, cats tolerate you.
• Aliens are real.
• Money can buy you happiness.
• There is no 5-second rule. Don’t eat food off the floor, you pig.
• Mullets are out but perms are somehow still in? (Either that or the people I have seen didn’t get the memo)
• Moths are evil, don’t trust them around your children.
• Twerking will live forever. Don’t ever stop twerking.
• You have never seen me and Beyoncé in the same room at the same time. Think about that.

Here’s to an amazing 2K15!

My First Time

So I had my first ever interview last Wednesday (15/10/14), and this is the tale of how it went. (Bear with me, it’s a long one).

I heard about an internship that was available at a local paper called [name removed because Nikolai is scared of getting sued]. I emailed said paper and asked whether the internship was still available; I received an email back asking me to forward them my CV and so I did. After doing so, I got a phone call asking me to come in for – spoiler alert – an interview.

I was over the moon! After months of sending out CVs only to get no response, I had finally gotten an actual interview – hashtag blessed.

Fast forward to interview day: I turned up a half hour early to seem professional and so that I had time to mentally prepare myself. “You’ve got this”, I said, “No one can sell themself like you can… not like that… you know what I mean”, I said.

I then ran into a friend from varsity who was already an intern there. He told me what to expect as he’d gone through this before me. He also said as part of the interview, I’d have to write 15 pitches (which in and of itself is ridiculous). Anyway, I noticed it was 5 minutes passed the time my interview was meant to begin, so he offered to tell them I was waiting.

A short while later, the Editor of the paper came out to fetch me – let’s call her “Bethany Deville”. She put her hand out to shake mine and for some reason I had suddenly forgotten how to shake hands. I limply grasped her hand and attempted a handshake – I failed (“Shit, you win this round, Bethany”, I thought to myself). She then led me to the conference room where my interview would take place.

Along with her walked in a man, who I’m still not sure what he does really but I’m sure it’s something cool – let’s call him “Bob”, because I can’t think of anything that rhymes with his actual name.

So there I sat, looking at Bethany and Bob, Bethany and Bob looking at me – it was romantic really. I reminded myself “You can do this, tell them your strengths, tell them you once punched a shark – it’s plausible, they can’t prove that you didn’t”.

Then they started asking me questions and I soon realised I wasn’t prepared. Things like “How can we increase the number of readers? (Or something to that effect). “I don’t know, build a time-machine and travel back to when people actually read newspapers?”, I thought but realised I couldn’t say out loud.

Other questions expected me to produce stories out of thin air “Give me a Hard News story”, “Give me a Human Interest story”, “If you were interviewing someone who won R10 million, tell me 5 questions you would ask them” – the romance ended.

Ordinarily, it would be easy to answer these if maybe… I dunno, I was told what was expected of me beforehand – but I was told NOTHING about this interview and was suddenly asked to produce.

YOU, reading this, think of a hard news story and a human interest story RIGHT NOW, DO IT, DO IT RIGHT NOW. Can you do it? I doubt it. (If you can, you should totally send them your CV).

I was told to bring in pieces I had previously written – I took a portfolio of work I did when I FIRST did journalism in varsity (and knew nothing really), as well as work from my Honours Journalism class – where I was a much better writer and the Editor of my class newspaper (HELLO). They looked at the shitty work only and ignored my reference letter and Honours pieces altogether – that seems fair, right?

Anyway, after they were done asking me questions, I was asked to excuse them while they deliberated. I did, and I sat outside reciting my mantra: “You are a strong, ghettolicious woman who don’t need no man” (I never said it was related to the interview okay). Then, they called me back in.

I was told that they were rejecting me because they didn’t feel I was a Hard News journalist (or something, I zoned out because I missed breakfast and was thinking about a doughnut). I was told I need to work on my spelling and grammar (HOW VERY DARE YOU, SIR), but my absolute favourite line was “We experienced this before. We hired interns who we weren’t sure about and they proved us right” – Bob. Bob said this. To my face.

So I was being punished because other people didn’t cut it. That makes sense, I mean after all, all human beings are exactly the same so if the previous guys messed up, I obviously would too. Hey, Psychologists, you guys can all quit because Bob and Bethany figured out how humans work!

Silly me, I thought internships were meant to be learning experiences, Google thought so too: “Unlike conventional employment, internships have an emphasis on training, rather than employment itself”. But apparently, when applying for a Journalism internship, you need to be an experienced journalist. Who knew?

To Bethany and Bob’s credit, they did say that they may be able to publish some of my “creative writing” – they of course wouldn’t pay me, but it would help me build up my portfolio. Thanks, guys, when the bill collectors come knocking, I’ll show them my thick portfolio and they’ll tear those bills right up! Who needs money?! Not my portfolio! ☺

Anyway, I didn’t get the job and despite my best efforts to get ol’ Bethany and Bob to see the error of their ways, my attempts at contact have fallen on deaf ears. Apparently I’m not good enough to write film reviews and get stories off the internet to fill space in an already very skinny newspaper. Oh well.

In closing, I’d like to wish Bethany, Bob and the paper everything of the best. May you continue to sell your 12 000 copies in a city with a population of ±700 thousand people. You guys are awesome and amazing.

Kelly Osbourne vs. Lady Gaga… and Me?

Hello my little love muffins! I know I’ve been neglecting you all and you’ve missed me terribly but I’ve just been so busy at University that I’ve forgotten to update you guys – I am gutted and will try my utmost to update more often. Anyway, I have a new story to share with you all so grab your popcorn and coke (the drink, you guys) and read on. Be warned, it’s a long one.

I’m sure many of you know who Lady Gaga is but, how many of you know who Kelly Osbourne is? Well, for those of you who don’t, Kelly O is daughter of famed “Black Sabbath” rocker Ozzy Osbourne and his wife, Sharon Osbourne. Kelly is on the panel of E! Entertainment’s show “Fashion Police”, whose job is to critique what celebrities wear on a weakly basis. Here’s where the drama between Gaga and Kelly started: A while back, on an episode of Fashion Police, Kelly said that Gaga was “disrespectful” for not walking the Grammys’ red carpet and also referred to her as a “butter face”; this clearly infuriated Lady Gaga’s “Little Monsters”.

They began to bombard Kelly with hateful comments, even going as far as to send her death threats and to say that they hoped that she would get raped, get AIDS and die. Were all these vile and hateful attacks on Kelly warranted? Certainly not.

Lady Gaga published an open letter addressing the situation to which Sharon, Kelly’s mother, responded with this. Things had been silent for a while, that is until Kelly was chosen to be on the cover of a recent issue of Cosmopolitan magazine. In it, Kelly was asked about her and Gaga’s “feud” and she responded by calling Gaga a “hypocrite”, amongst other things.

And here’s where I come in: Upon reading Kelly’s latest comments, I took it upon myself to be Lady Gaga’s great defender (roflol). I wasn’t angry, per se, I was just irritated at the way Kelly and Sharon kept bringing this up as if Lady Gaga had any control over what her fans were saying.

So I tweeted Kelly the following:
”I sympathised with you the first time around but really, grow up and get over it now. Stop milking this “feud” with Gaga. What do you expect when you talk shit about people’s idol? I’m not defending the vile comments made towards you at all, but you need to realise that there are consequences attached when your job is literally to trash people’s appearances. Furthermore, it’s not your first time at the rodeo. You act like it’s the first time people have attacked you. You’ve been famous for God knows how long, so you know full-well that hate comes with the territory. I really did feel bad for you, but you and Sharon constantly bringing up Gaga not defending you is getting real old real fast. I’m not saying that what ”monsters” say to you is acceptable by any means, but constantly playing the victim solves nothing. My dear, don’t misunderstand me, I love you and your mother dearly but it’s a bit much to see Gaga brought up constantly by you.

And to my utter surprise, Kelly actually responded to me:
“We get asked, we don’t bring up. This has been going on for almost 2 years. No one deserves this. I will always stick up for myself. In no way am I playing anything other then the card I was dealt!” and when I told her that it wasn’t fair that she makes it seem that Gaga can magically control her fans, she responded with: “Don’t be a self-proclaimed Mother if you don’t want to take responsibility for your children!

I personally think that it’s utterly ludicrous for one to think that any celebrity can brainwash/control their fans into following their every command, even if we’re talking about Lady Gaga’s cult-like followers, the “Little Monsters”. Another question that needs to be raised though is, what is celebrity culture doing to our society? Are we so invested in what goes on in the lives of people who don’t even know we exist that we’re willing to attack people so violently and vehemently if they speak a word against them? People nowadays are so deluded by the fact that celebrities are more accessible than ever, that they truly believe that they have a say in their lives, in my opinion at least.

Anyway, after it all, Kelly O told me that it was refreshing to talk to someone like me who could hold their own without being rude and sweetened the deal by following me. I returned the follow and told her we could be BFFs to which she shot me an “xoxox 😉”. So, all’s well that ends well?

This Really Does Suck.

Ah, adulthood. The thing we spend the duration of our childhood longing for. We spent far too much time wishing we could be older than we were and then, when we actually made it to being adults, we realised that this shit really does suck.

I usually pride myself on being a shining example of maturity and other adult qualities that I can’t think of right now. However, I’m an almost-21 year old who can be as immature as they come. For example: I remember during my first year of varsity, I would skip my Psychology lectures every Wednesday afternoon, just so that I could make it home in time to watch the Power Rangers. It’s silly things like watching a TV show from my childhood that makes me feel nostalgic, but moreover, it makes me sad.

The fact of the matter is, I miss just being a kid sometimes. Children don’t have the responsibilities that we do. Their lives are theirs to lead; to have fun and be innocent, to learn, play and just have an amazing time. Children these days just don’t understand this though and it utterly breaks my heart that they try to grow up before their time.

To know that there are 14 year olds smoking, having sex and experimenting with drugs makes my heart very sore. I wish they just would realise what an amazing part of their lives they’re missing because they’re trying to act older than they are. Sadly though, this is the state of our world and there seems that nothing’s able to change it.

This all seems a bit morbid, but I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. If not, watch a television program that you used to when you were a kid, listen to one of your favourite songs from 10 years ago or remember the games that you used to play with your friends. Feel that? Feel that little twinge of nostalgia? That’s what I’m talking about.

In closing, if you’re a kid and you’re reading this, I’d just like to say: What the hell are you doing on the internet?! Go outside and kick a ball or climb a tree or play hopscotch or something!!!

-End rant-