Weddings n Stuff

Holy guacamole! I haven’t posted one of these things in like, forevz. Sorry bout that! Anyway, I’m back and sexier than ever! Hehehe.

Sooo, being that we’re all strangers, I should do the normal thing that us internet folk do and share my life with you all: My cousin’s getting married tomorrow! Yes, quite exciting isn’t it?

Weddings are a joyous time in any family because you get to see all your relatives and get drunk… uh, I mean celebrate love and the joining of two souls into one and etc. Anywho, this is the first of two weddings I’ll be attending in the space of two months and it’s pretty cool because then I’ll be like, the only one on my father’s side of the family who’s not married and who’s destined to die alone (well, hopefully).

I personally don’t ever wanna get married because, let’s be real here, marriage is gross. I could never stand to be tied down to one person for the rest of my life. Not to pretend that the sun shines outta my butt either – I’m sure no one would be able to handle alllllll’a this jelly for the duration of their lives. I joke, of course. The reason no one could marry me is because no one would be able to handle the fact that I’m so much better than them. But in all seriousness, marriage is cool if that’s your vibe and if you’re not Kim Kardashian (Ooh burrrrrnnnn).

My only prospects for marriage currently is a giant bag of Supreme Cheese Doritos. Well, at least I know I’ll enjoy the wedding night.

Anyway, in closing, I came up with a super awesome joke for you all:

Holy matrimony? More like “Holy matriMONEY” because she’s going to take half your stuff when she leaves you! Am I right?! Am I right, guys?! … guys?

Uhhhh, stay in school and hugs not drugs. Okaybye guys 😐