This Really Does Suck.

Ah, adulthood. The thing we spend the duration of our childhood longing for. We spent far too much time wishing we could be older than we were and then, when we actually made it to being adults, we realised that this shit really does suck.

I usually pride myself on being a shining example of maturity and other adult qualities that I can’t think of right now. However, I’m an almost-21 year old who can be as immature as they come. For example: I remember during my first year of varsity, I would skip my Psychology lectures every Wednesday afternoon, just so that I could make it home in time to watch the Power Rangers. It’s silly things like watching a TV show from my childhood that makes me feel nostalgic, but moreover, it makes me sad.

The fact of the matter is, I miss just being a kid sometimes. Children don’t have the responsibilities that we do. Their lives are theirs to lead; to have fun and be innocent, to learn, play and just have an amazing time. Children these days just don’t understand this though and it utterly breaks my heart that they try to grow up before their time.

To know that there are 14 year olds smoking, having sex and experimenting with drugs makes my heart very sore. I wish they just would realise what an amazing part of their lives they’re missing because they’re trying to act older than they are. Sadly though, this is the state of our world and there seems that nothing’s able to change it.

This all seems a bit morbid, but I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. If not, watch a television program that you used to when you were a kid, listen to one of your favourite songs from 10 years ago or remember the games that you used to play with your friends. Feel that? Feel that little twinge of nostalgia? That’s what I’m talking about.

In closing, if you’re a kid and you’re reading this, I’d just like to say: What the hell are you doing on the internet?! Go outside and kick a ball or climb a tree or play hopscotch or something!!!

-End rant-


Why Wasn’t I Born A Mutant?!


If you were anything like me growing up, you probably were an avid watcher of shows like The Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, X-Men, Spiderman and a whole host of other superhero programs that filled your head with a bunch of crap but also, made you feel pretty awesome. Also, if you were like me, you spent many hours attempting to move objects solely with the power of your mind only to fail and then curl yourself into a ball and weep violently because God didn’t love you enough to bless you with telekinesis… err, not that I ever did that.

So I got to thinking, how different would the world be if people actually had superpowers like the ones we see on TV or in the movies? For the most part, it would be pretty kickass but on the other hand, it would probably suck donkey balls.

Imagine you’re walking down the street one day and suddenly somebody grabs you from behind and demands all your money. You, being the badass that you are, manage to get free and run away. Suddenly, the dude throws a lightning bolt at you and it completely blows your ass off. I don’t know about you, but I for one like and need my ass. Crime is bad enough as it is; we don’t need freakin’ super-criminals who could go around blowing people’s asses off. Can you imagine a world with no asses?! That is a world I don’t want to live in.

On the other hand, if responsible people were given superpowers, that could be totally rad. Like, imagine being able to teleport and see the world in an instant? Or fly and feel as free as a bird? Or have X-Ray vision and see hot people naked? Err… I mean… huh? I would never do that.

All in all, I think the big guy upstairs knew what he was doing when he made us all “normal”. I guess having a select group of men with the power to do whatever they wanted, with no consequences at all would be a bit unfair to the rest of us, but we can rest soundly knowing that that will never ever happen… unless you work in government.

I for one, am fairly happy living my life without any superpowers, but on a totally unrelated note: Does anyone know where I can find a radioactive spider or some gamma radiation? I’m, uh… asking for a friend.